Being on this trip

has made me realize alot. I'm so glad I came here. I have way more confidence, and I grew up quite a bit. Seeing my grandma in the state she is in, was a real eye opener for me. I don't care about petty drama anymore at all. I don't need any negative people around me. I love who I am, and where I came from. My family consists of amazing sweet people. I was very lucky to have been born into such a loving family. I love who I have become over the years, and noone and I mean NOONE can get me down. I'm a good person, and I would do anything for the people I love.

Confidence is key, and I feel much better about everything.

I miss Chad like crazy. I truly do love him, and I will always. He is my best friend. Life without him is just not the same.

i know

That i mess up sometimes. i don't mean to. but i am human. we all make mistakes. im just crazy.

I may not know a whole lot,

but I do know my self worth. I am a great person. I know how to be good friend, I know how to keep the people I love happy.

People come and go, but I know that the people I have, will never ever give up on me.
I'm crazy, I'm a spazz, and I'm usually confused about a lot. But Everything will work out for me, because I have confidence, and a good head on my shoulders.

Kaleigh, Dawn, Caitlin, and Amy, are my girls. Through thick and thin. They know me, and I know me. I will be okay. I will work things out. Time heals everything. Even a broken heart.

I am taking each day as it comes.

I finally found

the feeling of having peace of mind. and lemme tell you, it feels great.

I am a lot stronger

than I thought I was.
I don't need to worry so much. Things happen. Whether bad or good, I'm still going to survive and the sun will still be shining.
Life is passing me by. I'm only nineteen years old. I need to enjoy my life.
"If I died tomorrow, would I die happy?"
I asked myself that, and the answer was no.
I intend on changing that. and living my life for me. No matter what happens. I need to make my self happy and not worry about what the people around me do.
I love myself and who I have become.

It's time for me to start having fun!

and p.s. I will still love you until the end of time.

keep on truckin.

I have got to be the most confused girl in the world right now.

i have no clue what i want.

i just need a vacation.
ha, imagine that. im getting one.

south carolina this weekend.

hopefully i will get a little clarity and peace of mind while i'm away.
lord knows i could use some right about now. ha

so, this summer has been:

pretty good. not the best summer i have ever had, but a good one.

i feel closer to my friends. closer to my family. and closer to chad.

i dont want to lose anyone that is currently in my life. you all mean everything to me.


i started work at zaxbys. i just hate hearing how much i look like taylor swift all day every day. its kind of annoying now.

me and chad have been doing very good with our time apart, i feel like were getting to a good point. and we dont fight as much anymore. maybe it was just too much time together. but i miss him so much.

well, that about sums it up.

cutest picture ever.

i love chalking!

youve already had the best days of your life!

things i want to do/ change:

i want to have a job.
i want to change my hair.
i want buy a really cute dress that is "way to expensive".
i want to see kaleigh and dawn more often.
i want to start using everything healthy because of brittnye and bill.
i want a new hobby. like glass blowing.
i want to walk storm, but its very early in the morning.
i want to go up to verizon and get my new phone.
i want to have a picnic and lunch date with storm and chad.
i want to wake up smiling.
i want a salad. with grilled chicken and shrimp and tomatos and praline almonds and a sweet dressing.
i want to meet taylor swift.
i want to make some one smile.
i want to dance on stage with girltalk!
i want a memory foam mattress topper from walmart for 19.99. it looks comfy.
i want some more orange juice.
i want to see my grandpa in Germany soon.
i want to get a damn job. soon. zaxbys needs to hurry.
i want to se the sun rise.
i want to make chad happy and content on not drinking.

i love

dawn and kaleigh more than anything. those are my girls. i love you guys! :]

what i want in a guy!

smart, caring, attractive, doesnt do hard drugs, has a job, wants to succeed in life, makes me want to be a better person, helps me understand life on a different level, thinks im the only girl in the world that he needs, holds my hand no matter what, someone that i can make eye contact with, someone who speaks to me, someone that i can have instant connection with.

if your out there, i am ready for you.

understand that i have NEVER been in a good relationship before. and that im hurt and confused. help me get my guard down. help me understand that not every guy is going to hurt me intentionally.

i just need a man. im tired of boys.

why am i happy?

i have kickass friends who would do anything for me.

because i get hit on by random people everyday and its a confidence booster.

because i get 20 people a day tell me i look like taylor swift, which is awesome.

because i have storm. even though she is the devil.

because i know i have not hit rock bottom, and that i can start over.

because i still have chad.

because my mom loves me and wants to make me feel happy and better.

life is good. things will be okay. im ready.

Old photos!

I miss highschool.
Prom

I miss being so close.

my dad took me shootin! ha

never ever again.

haha

this is what i grew up around! ahahh oh lord.

germany!

florida with my sweet thang.

i miss my old life.

We are still friends.

and i love this picture that brittnye took of us. we are still hanging out and getting to know eachother again, on a different level. im very content right now. i like being single, for the first time in my life. kml, dont be mad, we are not together. we are taking it day by day.

wow, i didnt think it would be this easy.

im living life. im having fun. everyday all day. seriously. ive never felt so free. but thats all going to end tmrw, maybe. im going to live with my mom. ha! thats probably going to last a night. i just cant stay at my moms, its boring. and i like to be around people constantly.


i dont know what to say about me and chad. we are still hanging out. alot. i still love the crazy asshole. what we had was real, no matter what anyone says, it was real. its the hardest thing in the world to not think of him.

i just want to be single right now though. i want to enjoy the confidence i have right now. im feeling great. and i dont want that to end.

im going to put in applications at day cares! :] perfect job.

i have been hanging out with a very nice guy. btw.

Why is it so hard?!

to get over you. i tell myself your no good. but yet, your always on my mind. it doesnt help when you are trying everything to get me back.

i dont know what i want to do. i just know, that even seeing you makes me feel like everything is right in the world. and i dont want to lose that feeling.


all i need is to dive into some nice cold water. i'd feel alot better.

:]lets go swimmming.

:]

im having fun.

hanging out with everyone that loves me makes me feel great. hung out with chad yesterday. i think im seeing him today too.

whatev. i can be friends!

So,

im going to dawns. if you want to see me, or whatever just text me.

im trying to clear my brain. so dont be negative. i need pure positivity.