I just

want to be single. no worrying. no drama. just a care free summer sounds grand to me.

i hate

being confused. i wish people would just make decisions for me. i hate not knowing what i want.

I'm falling

fast for you. crazy. stop being so cute.

I try to live

with out you, and try to be happy. I try to smile, and let you go in style. Yet, every time I let my mind wander, It always turns to you.

:|

I am so confused. I hate being confused. Usually I have it all worked out in my head. What the hell is wrong with me.

Fresh start!

It's been about a week since I have spoken to Chad. Of course he is still trying, but I feel so much better not having to worry about anything. I feel relieved. and happy. I seriously never thought I could feel this good without him by my side. and of course I do miss him. I miss him alot. But thats normal. I will be okay soon.

Me and Kaleigh have gotten super close again. I love her. Since 6th grade she has always had my back, and now we work together so I get to see her all the time!

Me and Anna are becoming the best of friends. thats awesome, cause she is awesome.

I am rearranging my room. It is going to look so cool when i'm finished. I think I want to get rid of my bed frame, and just have my mattress on the floor. i think it will look prettty cool.

Being on this trip

has made me realize alot. I'm so glad I came here. I have way more confidence, and I grew up quite a bit. Seeing my grandma in the state she is in, was a real eye opener for me. I don't care about petty drama anymore at all. I don't need any negative people around me. I love who I am, and where I came from. My family consists of amazing sweet people. I was very lucky to have been born into such a loving family. I love who I have become over the years, and noone and I mean NOONE can get me down. I'm a good person, and I would do anything for the people I love.

Confidence is key, and I feel much better about everything.

I miss Chad like crazy. I truly do love him, and I will always. He is my best friend. Life without him is just not the same.